NUMBER 42 - PHOENIX.

Once again, I hear myself singing

The ballad that I had long forgotten

These overdue feelings are overwhelming me

I wanna kill it, I wanna be free

Once again, I see myself dreaming

Inside this little room

But dreams are meant for sleeping

And I must wake up soon

Once again, I found myself hoping

Hoping for the impossible

I am done with trying

But I can’t stop myself from dying

Once again, I found myself drowning

Suffocated by my thoughts

I see no happy ending

Not even one, not even close

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April 24, 2011 10:59pm

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For a college crush who doesn't even remember me now. :(

NUMBER 41 -- LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT.

I'm tired of being the weaker one

Tired of the words unsaid, and the things undone

Not gonna play the damsel in distress anymore

Will fly alone and forever soar

Will not be a puppet of your old lies

Will not be the instrument of your goodbyes

Will not be the audience of your fake shows

Won't wait until the curtain's closed

Tired of asking for your attention

Ignore will be the name of my mission

I'll learn how to play your game

Your tactics are getting lame

Won't hope for tomorrow, all I have is now

You can leave but first please take a bow

Let's get this straight, let's get this right

Watch me taking off, see me taking flight

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11:55pm | January 29, 2011

NUMBER 40 -- PRESS PLAY.

It's on again.

Solitude takes over.

It hits refrain.

The more I become sober.

Wait for the chorus.

It's much more depressing.

It's interfering my focus.

Haven't heard the ending.

Press rewind.

Just to unwind.

Hit pause.

Forget all the cause.

Fast forward every pain.

Press play and start again.

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12:05am January 30, 2011

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Because every sad song affects me like hell.

(written while half-sleeping)

NUMBER 39 -- HEY, YOU!

Hey you, with your basketball,

will you just catch me when I fall?

Coz you make my heartbeat stop,

With those moves, I was trapped.

Hey you, with your ice cream van,

that ginger hair just looks so fine.

Coz your magic makes my heart beat fast,

I'm not sure my sanity's going to last.

Hey you, with your deep set eyes,

that sweet smile almost got me petrified.

Coz you took my breath everytime I look.

Eventhough you're just a werewolf from a book.

Hey you, boy with a guitar,

I have declared a losing war.

Against those eyes, I am dead.

When you're around I just cant breathe.

Hey you, my one true love.

Who's really none of the above.

You've wasted my time and everything.

Now be prepared to be my nothing.

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January 23, 2010 | 1:59am

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CB|RG|TL|RC

but for noone.. really.

NUMBER 38 -- THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE TOTALLY FREE.

The best things in life are really free

So shut the fuck up if you don't agree

I love it when it rains and I have a cup of coffee

Cozying under my blanket and watching TV

I love those late-night chit-chats with my friends

Over almost everything that we can comprehend

The laughter of my niece is so priceless

I love to see her smile that's so precious

I love those grown-up talks with my parents

Even though we've had some little disagreements

I love it when my favorite basketball team wins

It leaves me pride and joy plus a huge grin

I love it when I read a good book

And when I learn a new dish to cook

I love watching a certain movie all the time

Until I memorize all the lines

I love it when I can relate to a song

And I'll play it again and again for too long

I love it when I can rhyme spontaneously

Just like how I roll lately

I love it when I see him smile

It takes all my burdens for a while

So yes, the best things in life are totally free

I don't know about you, but this poem's about me

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1-11-11 | 11:42AM

NUMBER 37 -- DENIAL.

How many times did I bid the memories goodbye?

And just how many times will I lie?

I’m not over you, but hey, I tried.

Guess feelings just don’t naturally die.

I told myself to move on from you.

Pains and bruises are what my heart got into.

But how will I do that when at night I dream,

Your face, your voice, to me it screams.

I close my eyes and try to erase you.

Your smile is haunting me, what can I do?

I’ll sleep all these thoughts but they never go away.

I have to get use to it every moment of every day.

I guess there is no such thing as moving on.

We’re all just been numbed until all the feelings are gone.

And even though the time may pass,

Those memories will forever last.

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9.30 December 1, 2010

NUMBER 36 -- TELL ME WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE, AND I'LL TELL YOU MINE.

We watch movies together, pig-out and dine.

We don’t drink any alcohol but we’ve had some wine.

We have differences but we get along just fine.

Now let me start with some little introduction,

And I hope that by now, I’ve got your attention.

She goes by the nickname TinTin, and she’s worried about everything.

She likes to draw eyes and she loves to wear pearl earrings.

To be her friend, you must have the patience to wait,

Because sometimes, she is so fashionably late.

She has a huge crush on a cartoon character,

Although she knows that she’s gushing over a paper.

She’s not aware that she is beautiful inside out,

Behind those boyish moves is lady screaming out loud.

Her heart was broken by some stupid moron.

She’s been wretched for a while, but she’s now moving on.

She’s radiant, blooming and yes, going strong.

KayKay, with those deep set of dimples.

She has this thing for small people.

She likes green and all she thinks about is food,

But she doesn’t get fat; she’s always in good mood.

Partners in crime, that’s what we are,

From band members to basketball stars

Her dream is someday to be kissed in the rain,

By a guy named Yael or Simon Atkins.

Behind those pretty smile is a strong-willed girl

A loyal friend, a model student, and a loving daughter.

Every day I flashback to those days I hear her laughter,

Those were the memories I’d like to ponder forever.

She’s my Seoul, and I’m her body.

She likes hugs and being called ‘baby’.

Ace, is the ultimate Sarah Geronimo fan

The Popstar Princess is her only one.

She walks in mystery but she’s true to herself

She bids goodnight as she drinks her milk.

She’s thoughtful, sweet, one of a kind

A treasure that is very hard to find

She loves this boy with all her heart

And I hope He knows how to play his part

For the only thing that I wish her is complete happiness

She deserves nothing more than a day of bliss.

I love them like I love eating,

Being with them, FUN is a sure thing.

I miss them and Im’ma tell ‘em everyday.

I won’t forget the day we met in any other way.

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January 8, 2010 | 1:42am

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For d'Gang :)

NUMBER 35 -- EMPTY.

pretending everything's okay can be tiring

sometimes i just wanna give in

break down and let lose all these frustrations

so many disappointments and miscalculations

lately i've been feeling empty

feeling nothing, not even happy

did i go numb to the pains of life

don't know what's my purpose

don't know what's my worth

is my life about to foreclose

or am i just heading way up north

it's like i'm in this blind horizon

and i'm held in dark uptight prison

i want to break free but i can't

so little time, so many wants

i'm tired of fighting this battle

because i'll always lose against myself

there will always be something that will burst my bubble

when my hope gets too high

but i guess all these are trials with a cost

they are meant to remind me that i'm lost

and i need to find myself before others do

figure out these life's little clues

i just gotta have the patience

someday everything will make sense

for now all i can do is try

do something new and never ask why

i can't wait to get my wings and fly

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2.57am | 11.27.10

NUMBER 34 -- YOU LOST ME.

How could you be that bad?

When I loved you with all I had.

Left me numb and cold in the ground

I'm blinded by your lies hiding in the clouds

We were happy, at least that's what I thought

But distance is a battle you never fought

You're too weak to carry on

You gave in to temptations very soon

Well now at least I realized

That you were never a golden prize

You lost me, now you want me back

No way, my world won't again turn black.

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10:47pm November 29, 2010

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written for a friend. :)

NUMBER 33 -- SKY.

I love that tattoo in your neck

And I love it when I hear you speak

I love it when you're stealing the ball

It's like you're stealing my heart from a fall

I love to take pictures when you turn your back

Showing your jersey number on track

I love it when you jump high and do acrobats

It's like your flying mid-air just like a bat

I love how you smile when you commit a mistake

And I love the fact that you can cook and bake

I love to watch you when you don't have a clue

And I love it when you catch me glimpsing at you

I love how you make my heartbeat skip

And how your ways always makes me weak

I love everything that you do

Most especially YOU.

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5:03 pm | November 19, 2010

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While I'm writing this poem, I can't help but giggle. Hahaha. Yiheeeeeeeeeeee.