NUMBER 35 -- EMPTY.

pretending everything's okay can be tiring

sometimes i just wanna give in

break down and let lose all these frustrations

so many disappointments and miscalculations

lately i've been feeling empty

feeling nothing, not even happy

did i go numb to the pains of life

don't know what's my purpose

don't know what's my worth

is my life about to foreclose

or am i just heading way up north

it's like i'm in this blind horizon

and i'm held in dark uptight prison

i want to break free but i can't

so little time, so many wants

i'm tired of fighting this battle

because i'll always lose against myself

there will always be something that will burst my bubble

when my hope gets too high

but i guess all these are trials with a cost

they are meant to remind me that i'm lost

and i need to find myself before others do

figure out these life's little clues

i just gotta have the patience

someday everything will make sense

for now all i can do is try

do something new and never ask why

i can't wait to get my wings and fly

--------------------------------------

2.57am | 11.27.10

NUMBER 34 -- YOU LOST ME.

How could you be that bad?

When I loved you with all I had.

Left me numb and cold in the ground

I'm blinded by your lies hiding in the clouds

We were happy, at least that's what I thought

But distance is a battle you never fought

You're too weak to carry on

You gave in to temptations very soon

Well now at least I realized

That you were never a golden prize

You lost me, now you want me back

No way, my world won't again turn black.

------------------------------

10:47pm November 29, 2010

------------------------------

written for a friend. :)

NUMBER 33 -- SKY.

I love that tattoo in your neck

And I love it when I hear you speak

I love it when you're stealing the ball

It's like you're stealing my heart from a fall

I love to take pictures when you turn your back

Showing your jersey number on track

I love it when you jump high and do acrobats

It's like your flying mid-air just like a bat

I love how you smile when you commit a mistake

And I love the fact that you can cook and bake

I love to watch you when you don't have a clue

And I love it when you catch me glimpsing at you

I love how you make my heartbeat skip

And how your ways always makes me weak

I love everything that you do

Most especially YOU.

--------------------------

5:03 pm | November 19, 2010

--------------------------

While I'm writing this poem, I can't help but giggle. Hahaha. Yiheeeeeeeeeeee.

NUMBER 32 - FAKE.

all they do is gossip

and talk about other people's lives

sit there and do nothing

cannot wait for another dive

all they do is pretend

say the things they can't even comprehend

all those deeds are all so lame

they'll do everything to get that fame

all they do is pointing flaws

they didn't know they have too

its like they thought they're not breaking laws

of being respectful and staying true

all they know is stab you in the back

and before you know it you're under attack

being nice when you face them

Turn your back and they'll hit your dream

all they know is pushing people down

replace your smile with an ugly frown

it's like they're the master of the game

and you're just another player unseen

all they know is laugh at you

say mean things that hurts too

they make quiet atmosphere loud

they were born obnoxious and proud

all they know is they know everything

when in truth is they know nothing

they pretend they're strong and high

when in truth they're the weakest man alive

--------------------------------

4:17pm | November 19, 2010

---------------------------------

written for the bullies that is constantly reminding me of my flaws.

i don't need you in life, and i'm tired of hearing your shits everyday.

i've got my own life, and i'm happy without you interfering.

ps. you are all bullshit.

NUMBER 31 -- WISH ON A GLOW STAR.

Sparkle me with your luminosity

I need a single wish right now, right here

In the dark I see you clearly

Can you feel it, can you hear me?

Little glow star won't you grant my wish tonight?

The biggest star, I want to see shining bright

Little glow star please do make it right

Make that biggest star appear in my sight

Sparkle me with your luminosity

Oh little star, please let it be

Hear my aching, hear my plea

Bring the biggest star beside me

-----------------------------------

11:00pm | November 16, 2010

NUMBER 30 -- MOVED.

Saw you today wearing that same cute smile

Which i haven't seen in quite a while

My heart never skipped a beat

Unlike the last time I checked

Maybe this was what they call forgive and forget

Those dreamy eyes used to haunt me in my sleep

Now I barely see you, not a single peep

I never thought I'd say this but I've moved on

Guess I never realized that my will was so strong

No more heartaches courtesy of you

No more bruised and battered heart too

You had no idea what I had to go through

Just to catch my breath and let it all go

Now I'm all happy, contented and bright

My every night is full of fairy dusts and starlights

While yours, I heard, is dim and dark

Well honey, letting you go was not a walk in the park

-------------------------------------

10:52 | November 16, 2010

NUMBER 29 -- LATE NIGHTS.

I still remember that one April night

Where the stars collide with the bright lights

When everything was sparkling

And you held me in your arms but I say nothing

I still remember the unexplainable feeling

My stomach was rumbling even if I have just eaten

Maybe this was the butterflies inside parading

And every nerve in my system celebrating

I still remember the illegal beat of my heart

When you said yes and I felt your warmth

There's fireworks all over the place

A memory that will never be erased

I still remember how you smiled at me

When you tried to be friendly

But I can't speak in front of you

And all I can say was 'hello'

I still remember how you told me it's OK

When I apologized for I was shaking

While I take the photo of the day

You didn't know that my heart was melting

I still remember those little glimpse I catch

It made me happy I swear I can't watch

I clearly remember how you took my breath away

And how you always become the highlight of my day

I still remember how the dream ended up

I watched you climb the bus heading home

All those fairy lights and little dreams will now have to stop

As I hold on to the last strand of hope that you'll come back

--------------------------

10:20pm | November 16, 2010

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.

NUMBER 28 -- GHOST OF YOU.

Go away and stop haunting me

Those eyes of yours will never set me free

Let me sleep and keep away from my sight

Let me sleep and break the monotony tonight

Those smiles are forbidding me

To close my eyes and dream

Please go away and let me be

It’s not as easy as it ma seem

Go away, the ghost of you

My thoughts are captured and sealed

Go away from my wretched mind

Those secrets will never be revealed

-------------------------------------

June 10, 2010 | 3:55am

NUMBER 27 -- R.E.M.

It's the end of the day,
and the moon takes over.
As the stars twinkle in the sky,
you smile and bid your day goodbye.

Another day has ended
But broken hearts were never mended.
Perhaps in your sleep it's good,
perhaps in your dreams it would.

But when you lie wide awake,
you're lost in your thoughts again.
You close your eyes and keep still,
Hoping it would numb the pain.

Finally, when dreams invade you
You forget the tears and all the hurt.
Temporary bliss feels good too,
Even if it won't last that long.

But when the night turns to day,
and sweetdreams were washed away.
You wake up and realize,
that reality bites more to your dismay.

---------------------

June 19, 2010

NUMBER 26 -- I CAN'T RHYME.

I lie alone.
I'm wide awake.
It's 2am and its cold.
I'm coining a poem,
but my words have gone old.
I lull myself to sleep.
I want to dream.
YOU are the ONLY PROMISE I wanna keep.
But it;s getting dim.
I want to escape my reality.
And live in your illusion.
You had held my heart in prison.
I don't want to be freed soon.
Why do I lie awake and think of you?
Of all the things we've possibly gone through?
You are my caffeine.
You keep me awake.
AND WHY DID YOU EVER CROSSED MY MIND?
WHEN ALL I WAS JUST SAYING
IS JUST 'I CAN'T RHYME'?

------------------------------

1:19am November 12, 2009